The fiona, spun sangria, and the warehouse party house

The bar as I sat with a glass of whiskey in my hand was a pale oak sheen, and there were bottles lined up, and tins of tincture powders like a drugstore. I was not ready for what happened. I had already been at a feast, and outdoor garden picnic, an indoor corridor twice met, a crowded bar where I met an old friend, and Michel was there in all contexts mostly speaking cryptic close words, in a huge warehouse while I was wrapped in red silk. He said the number nine, and merged into the couch, with green hair. The warehouse and the party, the quiet scenes in the corridors, and now this; Fiona.

The first thing I noticed was the thing she wore on her hand. I heard her speak and glanced only twenty degrees to my left. She had an orange webbing with blue pale jewels woven into the sunset macrame. It instantly imbued her with an energy. “I didn’t want to sit here without saying anything she said.” and this was a caveat and a ruse, because as I turned toward her, she began.

The device she had in her other hand was a spinning liquid dispenser made of bronze with two holes releasing amber and chartreuse liquid. SHe was spinning it’s ellipse-shape and  alcohol was somewhat falling into the tumbler in front of her. I had to back away slightly because it was falling on the floor. THis did not stop her! I glanced behind me and an entire chorus of men in suits were singing a song in gaelic.”FIOONA, CE!!!” THis is how I knew her name was FIona. THey clearly were singing for her in the sort of swelling chant  which erupted accompanied by unknown drums. This fueled her motion. I grasped my whiskey.Joe was there. He started to help the spinning liquid machine Fiona wielded. Others held a huge tub with rinds and fruit suspended in the liquid sangria. I realized the liquor fest had begun. Fiona was the spirit, the song, the drink. It was invoked. This had promise, but then I awakened.

Earlier I entered the bar upstairs in the lightness. As I was walking through the dim corridor to arrive, Michel met me. He put his arms around me in a hug. It was familiar, and instantly too much to be embraced alone by anyone but Joe. He came with me into the bar, like a shadow to my right. I felt odd to be with him going into this wild packed room. A woman began telling me a story and Michel slipped off. I could not listen to the rest of the story because Beth, my childhood friend was there. This time with her little sister Laura, all grown up, and her husband and new baby which he carried. Beth showed me a program from some event she had gone to. While we weren’t in Germany as far as I could tell, one of the programs was called, “Looking toward the Panzer’s” It cost 2,800 for the trip. I scanned the document which was a receipt as well, with my careful intensity reserved for Scorpio’s private curiosities. I saw that they had indeed paid the $2,800 for the Panzer trip. I embarrassed myself by telling her I noticed that they had paid for it and since I knew she had gone to Germany after high school, I let her tell me…”Actually, we’re going tomorrow!”  I couldn’t believe it. I have been studying Huertgenwald’s famous  1944 campaign. As I slip off to find Joe, there is no sign of him. I return to the dark corridor with it’s slate grey berber carpet and sloping inset lights like an aquarium, He is standing in his leather jacket and dark jeans in a wide stance at the bottom of a ramp. I wrap my arms around him. “I’ve been looking for you, ” He said, “I’ve been looking for YOU.” I say.

“What have you been up to ?” I ask. We go outside to where there is a circle of burned grass. He sort of trails of as if this is explanatory in and of itself.

Earlier in the warehouse he’d sat next to me after Michel dissipated and I had felt the soft closeness as I turned up toward Joe’s face and smiled just for him. The couch seemed hung 20 feet above the floor and we watched a woman come in with big placards of wood with a white veneer and tarot -like images. Her task was to paint something on them and bring them back to the vendor she’d worked things out with. It turned out to be Eliza Urtiaga. SHe did a wide plie and did not screech as she often does, nor giggle, which was a relief. Old wooden tracks seemed to be taking someone away in punishment animatronically with a puppet jaw. This room was mostly empty. I wondered if I ought to be making more contacts with the people in the village.

Garden party, money in the rice…

&~~

Prologue: As I was cooking breakfast, I recalled the most important thing which was a vision that came to me between sleep and wakening. A man called “the rock” was shown driving…HE HAD THE SECRET. He looked like my great uncle pete, Carl L. Peterson the II in a photo I saw of him in the seventies on a hike(perhaps when he took on the APpalachian)

What he knew was this:  It was a brain. It was an object in the shape of a brain that flashed to me. The thing about it was…it was his. He had his own brain. He got to make solid thoughts in his own brain. He formed them. They were in corruptibly his own because he knew how to put them there and how to keep them there. It is an oubliette of one’s own mind that is required. Go inward and form your own brain theoretically, abstractly, and then actually. 

 

 

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Small puppies in milk

The little puppies in milk, like small dumplings. Some in the teeth of some larger being. I was in a yellow glowing room. The table was wooden. The bowls of milk were warm. Later there was a ceramic artpiece on the wall. I saw that there was a piece that had to be fit onto it. There was writing on it. Old Zach from high school with his zaggy left hand script was there and the dogs now were large and I kept Celeste away from them.

we are young supernovas

I’m in an abandoned shopping mall with two others. We’re not entirely sure what’s going on. The world seems to have stopped turning, and most people have disappeared. We’ve heard that a few, whom we don’t care for very much, are still lurking about. We have this strong inkling that it would be a terrible idea to leave the mall. It’s dangerous outside — maybe zombies, maybe thieves, maybe our arch nemeses.  But than again, it’s dangerous in the mall too. We are in it, and we’re growing more desperate every hour. The only food is a buffet table with baskets full of black putrefying bananas. The two others are good people. I know they are, but this situation is getting to us, and we are growing distant and locked into our own minds. One is male, he has short blond hair and he’s physically fit — he reminds me of my childhood friend, Justin. The other is female, named Tali, she is also fit with blond hair — I know her.

I’m walking past the buffet table, it’s on my right. I keep walking and the outside wall is gone. Crystal blue waters are lapping against the pink tile floor. The ocean has come for us. The water is shallow by the end of the mall, but there is a large sand pool just a few meters away, and a tiger stares at me hungrily from that pool. We cannot leave by sea. I quickly retreat back into the mall and see a large silo. It has no doors, but it has a ladder. I race up it to see how fast I can get off the ground — I know that tiger will come for me eventually, and it’s a safe place. I get to the top and the hatch opens, but it is small, and the roof comes to a triangular point anyway. The walls are wide, and the ladder is made of thin round metal — it’s very uncomfortable, I couldn’t last up here for more then a few minutes.
I climb down and go back deeper into the mall. I see Justin, he says “He’s coming!”, and bolts past me. I follow and when I round the corner, he’s in one of the elevators, but the door quickly closes before I get in. I don’t know where Tali is, but I hope she is well hidden in one of the hotel rooms upstairs — “He” is coming to find her really, not us.  I hide in a darkened corner for a bit, and then make my way towards the silo. As I’m walking past the buffet table “He” is there. The bananas are all yellow and plump, and he has a smirk on his face. He’s a round man of medium height, I’ve never seen him before, but just through his smile and smell I know I never want to again. He’s running his fingers over the bananas, they are a present for Tali — there’s hundreds of them. We make are way to the crystal blue waters — our eyes locked into each others’ feverish gaze. He is confident and unafraid. He standing with his back to the ocean. It is dark now and three moons hang above the water, each within its own phase. Justin is there. He begins punching the fat man on the face, the man make no motion. Justin steps to few paces left. They are both staring at me, entranced, muttering, muttering in some foreign language. The man breaks his rapture and grabs a sword out of a tall bejeweled umbrella vase and slices Justin’s right arm. He drops the sword in front of himself pleased and fearless of retaliation. He raises his shirt to reveal his round belly as a meaty grin stretches across his face. Justin grabs the sword and slices him longways just above his bellybutton. At first nothing . . . and then a thin red line appears, and then it opens wider and wider, redder and wider — then streams of blood and gobs of guts gush out of him. He collapses to the floor unnaturally, like a Jacob’s Ladder. Eyeballs and living rats slither out of his ghastly wound. His face is white, mouth agape; his skin wrinkly and thin, hanging off his bones, too big for his deflated body.
We race back to the elevators and call for Tali. We decide it’s time to brave the greater world.

We’re in a truck driving through a small town. People are about. Nothing seems wrong.
Is nothing wrong? Were we wrong??
I see my friend Rachel, and tell her to climb into the truck, she does and we start driving out of town. With her she brings a peace that we’ve forgotten. The road vanishes and we are speeding through a field of large flowers, every peddle a different color; and although it is night, their glimmer is spectacular. They seem pixelated, as if we are in a digital film or video game. I look behind us and the flowers are fine, our tires do not crush them. We are light and laughing and quickly approaching the ocean and its moons — with no intention of slowing down when we meet them. ♨

little horn is born

I’m floating above a white room filled with people in white robes. There’s chanting and ritualistic motions are happening — they are moving in arranged patterns, as if they are tracing occult symbols with their feet. I can’t see the gender of the robed people, they all either have hoods covering their heads or they’re bald.
Voices start to raise from inside my head. They are murmuring, and I’m told that I am privy to this ritual because of my work with children — that children are actually an alien consciousness, that they are the bringers of the new world. This wasn’t in some lame “the children are our future” kinda way; but rather that their wild, uninhibited imaginations unleashed will usher forth the dawning new world and devour the old adult world in its wake.
I am about to watch one of the attendees undergo a transformation of consciousness. A larger robed person comes into the room, this one is male, he is surrounded and centered. He begins to shake, turns his head upwards and stares at me steadily in the face, his body beneath his head shaking franticly. It looks like a painful metamorphosis, but his face shows no sign of affliction. His pupils dilate past his iris and is eyelids begin to widen.
Mine open. ♨

blood thief

In a land of perpetual night I took to sitting in the bed of a red pick-up truck on a fairly regular basis. The truck was parked in my suburban childhood neighborhood, down Graeloch Road. I would just sit in it and think, and I always left it neat and exactly as I found it. The owner sometimes starred at me from his house window, but never said anything; I suppose he knew I wasn’t doing any harm. One time as I was getting ready to leave, he came outside. I was nervous, I didn’t know what to do. I took nothing from the truck, although this time it seemed to be lined with bait: a tube of cookies, a nice coat (that I initially thought was mine), even a little money. The owner didn’t say anything to me. In fact, I knew him — he was a kind new-agey man in his late 30s, too kind, to the point that he was a bit stupid.
One of the neighbors emerged from him home from across the street. He was in a panic. He immediately asked if we were donors, and said franticly, “she needs blood right now!” I didn’t trust him at all, something about his face and tone wouldn’t let me. I declined to aid the situation and made up an excuse to take my leave. The new-agey man did not. I was nervous for him, and asked for his phone number as he climbed into the strange man’s small car; but I didn’t get it all, he was too caught up in the situation’s distraught energy.
I later found out that he was drained of all his blood and left out in the woods for no particular reason. That man across the street . . . I see him sometimes, in other dreams. He has shoulder length hair, and he’s always sweating and in a frenzy. His greeting smile is a bit crooked. I’ve seen him before in waking life too, but I don’t recall where. ♨

Divorce Hearse

In the bathroom with Joey sticking letters rub-on onto the tub and on a blue poster.  “o’  “p” and he was fussing around to “really” print them. I looked and he had a few letters with depth like old letterpress blocks made of wood. I was making swans and shapes by rubbing the letters over-top-of-each-other.  I was rubbing them right onto the tub like a strip of typewriter white-out. I had just come home to the abandoned  grey house to see a volvo and a long car in the driveway only instead of it being a hearse it said “divorcer” I went inside, popped a hook eye lock to my parent’s secret suite and saw my mother dumping a big contact down the drain. She was hiding evidence. And by drain I meant a big square hole in the up-stairs.  I ran out side to try and see the culprit who I heard moving downstairs, but they were gone.   I was driving in Joey’s car or a van and I saw his mother. I followed her into our neighborhood seeing her peek back at me. I was going to turn off to the left but there was a one-way sign to the right.  I rode a big blue bike. I was putting a weird foot on, a gym shoe stuffed with plastic? There waiting in line,  I met a woman named Christina I had met before.(not actually) I was somehow in a place with younger people and they were contextually able to talk to me here. I had hooked up the young boy with an act. I don’t know what act it was, but it was for a show.   Riding the bike in Hamden, I swooped to a stop on a corner. It was twilight.&~~