i am a space needle

I’m the operator of a cable car that travels between six planets in the deeper realms of outer-space. Out the triangular windows are various celestial sights that would undoubtedly mesmerize my waking-self but don’t phase my dreaming-self in the least. It’s all routine to me.
Today we’re traveling at a ridiculously high speed — way faster than usual. Emily is sitting across from me. I can sense that she is nervous. I glance around the car and realize that everyone is overtaken with a silent fright — and they are all looking to me for some sort of guidance. The car is a bit rundown and could use a paint job — the green pleather seats are torn and a good few of the lights are dim or flickering. As I’m glancing around the car it dawns on me (in a rather causal way, might I add) that we will all die in this car and, in fact, be dead within the next few minutes. The cables have snapped, and we are plummeting through space at an incomprehensible speed — a speed, that alone, will destroy this steel car and our ripe bodies within it.
I knew something was different about today. What am I talking about?! I’ve been working this job too long. There is no “today”. I haven’t lived a solid “day” in years . . . or a night for that matter. Life, for me, exists in perpetual motion. I have no star to call “Sun”, and I’m not even oriented by the billions that surround me. This car is routed on cables. The steering wheel in my hands is just for show. My presence here is a joke.
I decided it’s better to keep a straight face. No one needs to know about our fate. They will only freak out and begin to scream. And Emily? …why worry her? …to what avail? No, I’ll keep quite. Smile around, and send her a wink. We will all be stardust soon enough….
Suddenly, my ears begin to tingle and then sting. And then a single, insistent, and ever-sharpening pain shoots through my skull. The sharpest I have ever felt. I look around . . . everyone is cupping their ears with their hands . . . mouths agape. My eyes widen, mouth drops open. Am I screaming? Are they screaming? We all seem to be screaming. It feels like I’m screaming. The pain between my ears is so acute that, even though it is deathly silent, it is the loudest, most terrible thing I have ever heard. My consciousness, and entire life, have been swallowed by the searing pain — and I vanish into the empty soundless space.

I awaken in my room, it’s 1am, and I have the worst earache I have ever had.

the day my new friends come

I lived in a city only about a 7 hour drive from Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. I started coming to visit the town on very regular basis. Riverbend (a hot springs spa) didn’t exist as it does today — it was more of hostel again. Travelers stayed in the owner’s home. I was coming so often that I had my own room. EL, the owner, was always warm and welcoming whenever I showed up, and he was a bit surprised that I didn’t care to go to other places. One evening EL was planning a meeting of some kind inside. I went outside and started chatting with some travelers. The night sky was filled with absolutely gorgeous constellations — constellations I had never seen before. The stars had lines connecting them into intricate patterns, and some were encircled within radiant glowing auras. I was staring at them for a few minutes when one of most prominent constellation in the north began moving. It was swirling in various directions. And in rapid succession other constellations began performing similar tricks. Some faded into nothing after trailing across the sky. It felt as if they were putting on a show for me. The entire sky was dancing. Directly before me was a single star with a circle around it (the alchemical symbol of the Sun). Someone told me it was Taurus, and so it was in the dream. (I am an Aries/Taurus cusp.) Suddenly, the night sky began to ripple like water, the Taurus star was the center point from where the rippling started. I went inside to ask EL about this phenomenon. He was eating some sort of entheogen and said that he had witnessed this countless times before in the New Mexican sky, and that he had finally grown to understand that the constellations are actually ships and the sky was some kind of sea; and that we are ones that will bare witness to “a great change over.”  ♨

red blood bed

I am a police officer. It is my first days on the job, the same goes for my partner. We’re driving in our patrol car. For some reason my partner stops the car and gets out–he is holding someone in the sights of his gun. I don’t know why, or what provoked him. He fires. The man dies fairly quickly. I’m not comfortable. I don’t know why he shot. Back at the station our supervisor makes him fill out a bunch of paperwork concerning the death.
A few days later I am in a similar situation. I am holding a man in my gun’s sights–he raises his arms and he is holding a gun. I fire. The man appears to die, and I have to go and fill out paperwork.
More days pass. I am in my room (though it does not represent any room I have every had). The man I shot comes in. My partner is sitting in a car in the corner, laughing, constantly laughing. I shoot the man, and he begins to bleed out of his chest. He is cheerful about the situation, and moves to my bed. He begins to taunt me and is proud that he is bleeding all over my bed. I start to reload my gun. It is taking too long for him to die. My partner hasn’t stopped laughing. I then notice that the bleeding man is trying to put a gun together. So I grab at it and wrestle it away from him. We end up on the floor before I successfully get the gun pieces out of his hand. He returns to bleed on my bed, and my partner never ceases to laugh. I put the gun together with the intention to shoot him in the head. But for some reason I put my two guns down in order to get something. He lunges for them and gets the guns. He is weak but manages to tackle me and pin me under him. He is bleeding all over me and attempting to muster enough strength to pull the trigger. I conjure myself awake before it he manages–my partner’s laugh still in my ear as I rouse into the waking world. ♨

dark ark

I’m in a foreign town that I am familiar with. There are occasional giant pools of water in the streets, perhaps from flooding. A man I don’t trust is seeking out my advice regarding the town. I offer him a small amount of information and try to exit the situation; but somehow I end up in a room with him and a few others. They want to know things about the underbelly of the town, but I clamp up more and eventually leave.
I’m walking home through the wet, busy streets. It’s taking a long time. The man bikes by, and I hide from his sight. There is word of a school up on a hill that is offering a language class I want to take. I climb the mountainous hill with a female friend (whom I don’t remember), and the “school” comes into sight. It is a massive ark, bigger than I have ever seen before in my life — I can’t even hold a view of the whole thing from one position. It is enclosed in black steel beams and glass; and a vast, complicated network of tubes is how people enter and move throughout it.
I’m in the ship, it looks like someone’s house that I know but I can’t remember who. There are books everywhere, but they’re old and they don’t seem to have the language book I want. I take my leave and start back down the mountain again. This is a long hike home and I do it everyday. I contemplate the ark-school for a while and realize it is so massive and stationed high on the hill in preparation for the flood the that will surely come and wipe us out one day. ♨

on the ropes

I am on a large sailboat floating on a turbulent sea that is covered with green algae. A woman is with me on the boat, but I don’t know who she is. The boat is anchored, but I can tell that it only serves to keep it from moving too much, and the anchor is dragging on the bottom of the ocean floor as we are pushed around. We are surrounded by massive rocks that look like miniature mountains, and the sky is a uniform orange. I found myself on this boat out-of-nowhere — I have no recollection of which shore it cast off. I climb a couple ropes that support the sail’s mast, and find myself dangling very high off the boats deck. I’m struck with a fear, and I don’t know how to get down without hurting myself. I do though. I find myself climbing these ropes from time to time for no apparent reason, and I’m always confused as to how I will get down. There is a cubby filled with change, and I keep checking to see if it’s still there, running my fingers over it; and I wonder if I will be able to keep it when we get to where we are going. If we are going anywhere. . . . ♨